Als die russische Invasion vor gut zwei Wochen begann, hat das in manchen russischen Familien Auseinandersetzungen und Streitigkeiten ausgelöst. Während die Kreml-Propagandamaschine auf vollen Touren läuft, haben nicht wenige jüngere kritische Leute grösste Schwierigkeiten, ihre Angehörigen davon zu überzeugen, dass Putins Krieg in der Ukraine nicht nur eine «militärische Spezialoperation» ist, wie die offizielle Sprachregelung lautet. Aber es gibt auch Familien, in denen die Ablehnung des Krieges den Zusammenhalt gestärkt hat.
Die oppositionelle Internetplattform «Meduza», die von Lettland aus betrieben wird, hat verschiedene Berichte von solchen Auseinandersetzungen gesammelt und in russischer und englischer Sprache veröffentlicht.
Wir publizieren hier den Bericht von «Maxim» aus Nowosibirsk in englischer Übersetzung. Die weiteren Beispiele können über diesen Link auf «Meduza» gelesen werden. Die genannten Namen sind zum Schutz vor staatlichen Repressionen geändert worden.
(R. M.)
Maxim
25 years old, Novosibirsk
It was easier with my mom and dad (he used to be a local deputy from the Communist Party) — we never supported the president’s politics. But we rarely see other relatives, mainly due to distance: Some of our relatives live in a village of 2'000 people. We always spoke about life, about ourselves. When you go to visit, you don’t want to spend time arguing about politics. I didn’t really have a good idea of what they generally think. But it was like the war lifted the mask. I began to quarrel with my relatives, because keeping quiet became unbearable. I believe that each person has their own opinion, but people should be aware of information from both sides, not just one side.
My mother had cancer, she died a couple of days ago. She said she opposed the war right from the start. She didn’t want for anyone to suffer the same pain as she did. When the war began, the medications my mother was prescribed began disappearing from the pharmacies. It didn’t affect her, but recently, out of curiosity, I looked for these medications on online pharmacies. It pains me to see the words «out of stock».
Most of the difficult conversations were with my sister’s husband. He was always the first to raise the topic of the war. At first I was at a loss: How can a grown man support violence, shelling peaceful neighborhoods, killing people? The arguments were difficult. He’s twice my age and a former soldier. It’s emotionally difficult to argue with someone who says all independent news sites have been «bought by the West».
I’m boiling with hatred for everyone who supports the war, both because they’re endorsing the deaths of civilians and because my mom died of cancer, and money that could have been spent on helping cancer patients is being spent on the war. I didn’t want my brother-in-law to be among those I hate.
I also had a conversation with my grandmother. She started saying that Zelensky was to blame for everything and that Ukraine unleashed the war. At first I got angry at the fact that she was shifting the blame to Ukraine. I swallowed that anger: I understand that she’s just seen a lot of TV. I breathed a sigh, sat down next to her, and began to explain.
I try to have a dialogue with my relatives in a calm tone. It seems to me that shouting won’t help me get my point across. It was enough to tell my grandmother about how Putin started it all, about my friends still in Ukraine, about the bomb shelter in Kyiv, where women are giving birth. My grandmother always said that we, young people, are smarter than her generation, and this time she trusted me.
My brother-in-law wasn’t convinced by these arguments, but he became more critical of the news. After a few days passed and it became obvious that the blitzkrieg had failed, I felt that he was starting to have doubts. By the end of the week, when [other countries] began imposing sanctions, he reached a turning point. My brother-in-law stopped supporting the war, but he maintained that a Russian troop withdrawal wouldn’t help Russia now, and that Russia needs to end the war it just started — or lose. He, as a former military man, is convinced that any action must end with a result. But as a human being, he’s against it.
After all our conversations, he still hopes that Russia will win the war, but he says everything to do with our economy and foreign policy will be bad no matter what. I felt relieved — including for my sister — when I realized that my brother-in-law understands what’s happening in Ukraine is a war, and not a «special operation», and that he doesn’t support it after all.
When the rallies in support of the «special operation» popped up, my brother-in-law started to find «any idiots with the letter Z» loathsome. When «idiots with the letter Z» appeared in the streets he started reading something other than RIA Novosti from time to time. Now, he also thinks that we have to end the war — and that Putin is «unhinged».
Alina
30 years old, Moscow
My mom and I always had disagreements about politics. We also argue because I’m queer and she doesn’t accept that. We spoke about the war on Sunday, I called her and I don’t even remember how the conversation turned to the war or which one of us started it — it’s just impossible not to discuss the war right now.
(Fortsetzung auf diesem «Meduza»-Link)